The inherent blindness of faith

Faith inherently is ALWAYS blind.
There can never exist something like "reasoned faith" or "logical faith".

To elaborate, here is a quote from Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy":

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

Basically what I'm saying is, anyone who believes in God in any form, does so in a faith as blind as that which tells people to sacrifice children in order to appease deities, or add an extra 'k' or 'a' to their names, or consume the remains of human cremations on the banks of a holy river.

Its just that when society finds some forms of faith "outrageously" (again a relative term) malignant or trivial, it brandishes them as 'blind'.

I could even extrapolate this to our faith in more tangible entities, like human beings.
True, past experience does add a sense of comfort et al, but as with any living organization (person/company/mutual fund/etc), "past performance does not guarantee future results."
If we were to REALLY think logically and scientifically, then we should all live a life engulfed in paranoia, with each person unsure of whether to trust even oneself, let alone others. At some level, blind faith does seep into our existence, and serves as a nice cushion for all that the world throws at us.

Sigh...
Feels nice writing again! :)

Cheers duniya!

PS: In case some parts sound a bit fanatic, then I'm glad they do. Its a welcome change from the stiflingly numbing habit of diplomacy.
In case they don't, well, no issues then either! :D

The SPIC MACAY NSIT Overnite 2008!

Essentially, this is all that I wanted to say about the overnite, I hope you find something you want to read. (As may be palpable, this last line was written after the entire mail!)
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Like many of the finest of things to touch our selves, this overnite too shall grow in taste, in significance, and in meaning, with time.

I'm sure this event took a million births before seeing the dawn of day. Any volunteer to have attended the National Convention or even a 'stand alone' overnite, would have at SOME point dreamt of such a day. And by the powers of induction, I'm sure such an aspiration must've been shared by more than a handful of us.

I am pretty sure that the approval for such an outrageous event would not have been very possible had this year been 2007 instead of 2008. Who would've thought of such a script... Our final year coinciding with the Silver Jubilee, of our institute.. An institute attempting to step outside of many shadows, trying hard to sculpt an identity for itself that goes beyond "wahi DCE wala..".
With the coming together of SO many variables, it was nothing short of a miracle, the approval. And it was marked by justifiedly insane implosions of joy in all of us, that beauuuuuuutiful evening, when Duru Ma'am called us up after the fateful meeting.

It was obvious from the outset, that we wouldn't quite be the 'rasiks' that we so eagerly long to be, if we were to organize an event of SUCH a scale. In particular, given the fact that we were 'using' the gaga sentiment flowing across college, in order to pursue an elevated exponent of a generally shunned activity.

The initial days after the admin approval went into TRYING (really hard) to get at least half the artistes mentioned in the "superstar A-grade" list mentioned in the proposal. Some people might have found that step a little dubious, but I for one feel we had left ourselves with enough space to wriggle out of any legal and moral issues. Anyhow, this was followed by days and days of working out complex permutations, juggling with variables like money, time, egos, history, the entire range. There were times when we felt elated beyond bounds, and then there were those when we felt scarily lost in the rush; days when we felt compromised, sold out, weak, "too worldly"; days when we lived the best of what we'd gained over the last 3+ years, and days when nothing seemed right. At different times, for different people, the build up to this event presented different dimensions of their own selves; things they were glad to find, as well as things not so enviable.
Anyhow, none of this forms the crux of the whole experience, in fact I'm not sure what (if anything should) does.

Moving on...
Finally, we reached at a final date. 15th Feb.
Final list of artistes made, with just one glaring uncomfortability: the fact that VMB was yet to be asked/informed about his slot (4th), one that we were sure he (and generally all artistes) would have qualms with. The fact that artistes more senior to him had moulded the schedule in a way that left us helpless (in his regard) would not really have held much water.
With time, all plans of contacting him, meeting, couriering, EVERYTHING failed. This little thorn would prick us right till the day of the event, when even though we knew he wouldn't ditch us, but the undenyable power of an artiste's hurt pride meant those paranoid among us (read ME) were always on our toes, wary of a bolt of lightning that might stroll sleepily by, and bring the entire plan down.

Thankfully, sanity was maintained and Mother Earth lived on.

Returning to the original time line, we then got busy with the work of publicity, file work, SECURITY and the rest. Here I must say, the way the 1st-2nd-3rd yearites went about everything, was brilliant. With the final year pple mostly out of the loop owing to a gamut of "prior commitments", it was indeed critical for the rest of the chapter to stand up and be counted. I won't resort to taking names here (in spite of the immensely positive context!), because the list would really be too long, and injustices inevitable.
The security issue would bring press the lowest out of our creative imaginations. After days of discussions and self imposed paranoia, we arrived at a safe sounding security proposal. And seriously, hats OFF, to everyone responsible for its methodic implementation (again I play safe with the names!). It really was a HUGE task to ensure decorum and rule compliance et al, but in the end, it all worked out beautifully.

With time, things took shape. The nitty gritties were fascinating, but more or less fitting into the set standard of pre fest work, so no point detailing every aspect here.

Eventually, after all the days that had to pass had passed, the time had finally arrived.
We were thrilled to see the auditorium getting filled at a steady rate. The standard handful of phirangs were present as well.

A delay of 45 minutes at the very start was unpleasant indeed, but thankfully, once we lifted off, we were free of any major turbulence. Vidya’s scathing verbal attack on a group of unpunctual juniors shall be inscribed in memory for all witnesses, for some time to come.

And talking of things that shall be part of my overnite highlight reel, I cannot help but cite Ashish’s absolute ghisai and the diligent efforts of Prashant, a volunteer I had met for the first time.


Coming to the events, the Kathak performance by Smt. Shovana Narayan ji was good I’m sure. I speculate owing to my general “missing the event”, and I infer from the audience’s generous response.

Then came our beloved Fahim Sahab. I was fortunate to be present for part of his riyaz in the green room. And even though the tea reached him not quite piping hot, we managed to keep him reasonably happy. I attended parts of his performance, which I know is NOT the way to appreciate music, especially dhrupad, but that’s a divine right held by “senior” members as part of our “reverse discrimination policy”, whereby freshers are not “allowed” to miss any of the events for work.

The Rudra Veena concert by Ust. Asad Ali Khan was a majorly reminiscent of Jaipur 2006, for those of us present there. Raag Purya, with his trademark lec-dem approach. The elements were all there for an event of the same scale, magnitude and downright awe as before. I hope and pray that it touched someone the same way and to the same (or greater) extent as it touched me.

At this stage now, the NSIT audience (of over 100) had had 4+ hours of continuous dhrupad. Understandably flustered, they flocked to the saviour and redeemer in Pt. Vishwa Mohan Bhatt. They knew, that he and he alone could light up their “mostly curiosity and novelty driven” night out venture. And yes, he didn’t disappoint. The Vijay Mallya (Come on, he DOES look a lot like him!) of Indian Classical Music gave a beautiful performance, which reminded me strongly of a random conversation I’d had with Ashish just hours before (or was it afterwards?). The idea was, our dependence on time in order to appreciate (read enjoy?) music, and the general truth of “Samay pita, Shruti mata”, and how we really needed to grow before we truly felt the significance of the mother.

Anyhow, the performance really awakened the audience, and in a way this sequencing helped, as it did the awakening before Ust. Abdul Rashid Khan’s performance, arguably THE event of the overnite.

As can be seen, I am not quite in a position to delve into the depths and wonders of the different events. For that, I shall await a report from someone who attended more freely.

Ust. Abdul Rashid Khan had been with us at the Guest House since the afternoon of Feb 14th. His performance formed the epicenter of many organizational issues, but in the end, everything worked out fine, and Manish Dhooper joined the list of esteemed NSIT alumni to have contributed towards the movement, by joining us on a frantic ride on makemytrip.

I attended the beginning and end of his event, both in reasonably satisfying stretches. The ending (it was a semi classical piece on Hindu-Muslim and extrapolatably general unity) was AWESOME. I had prepared a complex flow-Gantt-chart of the event. After the end of the organizational tasks, I had left a small void between that point and the final giant smiley representative of our potential success. I realized later, that it would be that last piece, of that last performance, that would be the link between organizational proficiency, and a really happy volunteer rasik.

All in all, the kids were happy with the event. And so were the present faculty, admin seniors (The Director and DSW were present for the best part of the 1st 2 events!), general audience.

Yes, the increased attendance did mark a visible decrease in the “quality” of the audience, but that is an inescapable part of our responsibility as being S.P.I.C.M.A.C.A.Y.

Also, our event was punctuated with coffee breaks in between performances and a dinner break after the dance event. So yes, a bit of dilution there as well, but given the easily forgettable “other factor” of NSIT’s Silver Jubilee, we had to oblige I guess.

Must say here, it was a simultaneously heartening and queer sight, Dr. Seth, the DSW, the Director, and Duru Ma’am, all occupying the front row in an audi, in the same dimension of reality.

All in all, it really was a BRILLIANT event. Indeed, a crowning moment for the efforts of ALL our volunteers, present and past. For as Newton said, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

Also, present amongst us were Rajesh, Dhooper, Joshi, Vivek and Ameya. So, a real get together it turned out to be, in the most beautiful sense of that word.


On a slightly personal note…

I, had always (since the time I began thinking about it) thought of my “final SPIC MACAY @NSIT event” as being an absolute earth shattering moment; with the full flow of high drama, emotion, tears, the works. I had always imagined myself sitting in a corner, wallowing in a realization of newly found mortality, and looking back, and forward.

I set myself to do just that, but for reasons beyond my comprehension, nothing happened. No burning bushes, no parting of the skies, no opening of another eye, nothing.
It was only later, that I found a plausible explanation for this.

The music, the artistes, the art, the emotion, the expression, the creation (and perhaps the tired and sleepiness as well!), takes one away from petty human boundaries of time, space and consciousness. For at that instant, during Ust. Abdul Rashid Khan’s performance, when I was looking to enact the entire melodrama, there was the music, and there was the music. For the life of me, I couldn’t find myself. I couldn’t feel any joy or sorrow within me, just a sense of gradual bliss; as gradual as the Sun rising in slow motion. Nothing else mattered.

During the overnite, Niharika and I had discussed as to how the "feeling" of this event had been "different" from the normal. Beyond the blatant factor of being an organizer rather than a pure rasik, I feel there was something else here as well. I'm not quite sure what that was, but with time, I hope to find more answers.

Thinking about the event now, it takes me back to a thought I had had a while back. It was the culmination of all that we had dreamt of. And by the beautiful art of back tracing, it was the culmination of all that had moulded us towards our dreams. And recursively, we can then go on. The point is, I am overwhelmingly obliged to the 1,05,289 different existences, purposes, souls, chemical reactions, that came together to give us this wonderful event.

On a more addressable level of abstraction, Thank you SPIC MACAY, and EVERYONE at the NSIT Chapter.

Love.
Peace.
Kandisa…