The following relates to a moment of extreme emotion that hit me while on my way back from lunch a few days back. And the fact that that feel was further accentuated yesterday night, when I was blessed with this track from Omkara's OST, means I embed that here.
You are requested to play it before proceeding.
So.
That lazy afternoon was one of those satisfyingly slow ones, where one gets some time to pause and look around, after having spent many weeks in the throws of hecticity and its fine friends.
I'm not sure what it was in that moment, that led to that which has been en-heightening my self since then. That wisp of a semblance of a scent which caught me unawares, or the indifferent, passing by female, or my predecessor behind her; whatever it was, it came by in one unassuming, unexpectant moment, stayed there, watching me stare at it in absolute wonder and then left with untouchable grace.
It had however done its job.
For in that moment, for the first time ever, my conscious self identified Jokaland as its home; for the first time, I felt that which one feels when one returns home after a voyage across 7 lives; for the very first time here, "that uncanny sense of belonging" walked up to me, looked me in the eye and gave me that hauntingly beautiful peck on the cheek.
Thankfully it wasn't a one-moment stand.
After that, different things came by, each inviting me home; each in its own way, a path to find one's home, to find that which drives one through all of the world's wonders, that which lends one meaning, purpose, and that comforting warmth, which en-numb-ens all that needs to be, while bringing to life the sobbing, hapless child within.
I realize, as I proceed with the above track embedded firmly in my ears, that my eyes have filled up for no apparent reason.
The track lends itself to the general sense of amazement fast enveloping me, with downright awe inspiring finesse. That it meant something similar to the sender only adds more hue and saturation to the developing scene. With it playing, one reaches that fast disappearing habitat wherein one is accorded the luxury of simply letting go of all that burdens the self, and floating on the gentle waves resounding in every bit of one's existence.
It is not surprising then, that one now finds greater meaning in that which awaits the senior batch in another 53 odd days; that one is reintroduced to that ideal which had kept one in perpetual awe of all that one saw, while keeping the self surprisingly light within. One finds oneself marvelling at this chance opportunity that has found its way into the 24.5 hour schedules that one subsists on.
One is alive once again.
The enslaved child is freed from the dark recesses that had gobbled it up with eerie glee.
The light (Noorunallah indeed!) has pierced through the walls that had erected themselves around one.
One finds some form of that elixir-esque concoction of hope, love and light.
Meaning, purpose and evitabilities take their rightful place next to the throne, thus silencing the beast, at least for now.
Till one finds the truth all over again; till one finds oneself back home in the blink of an eye, again; till one dies to embrace another tomorrow's life, I shall bid you farewell, kind passer-by.
Good Night.
Be happy.
PS:
"O ri raani, gudiya
Jag ja, ari jag ja.."
Sigh..
:)
