The big fat NSIT farewell..

Written at 1:18am on farewell night.
Retrospective afterthoughts the morning after are in [this style].

Be warned, this is a pseudo-drunken rant. Expect nothing, and you shall be happy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It would be harsh to try and force this stream of random thought into some semblance of order et al. Therefore, I shall proceed with whatever comes to my head whenever.

Farewell done.
After all the arbiticity in the official going away ceremony in the audi, and the mad house scribble sessions prior to that, we arrived at the climax for the day - the rain dance.

No, this isn't the crux of my trailing mind streams at all.
Is it the gradually growing sense of dispassion that grew with every passing moment on this day of acknowledgments and wishes?

Or the feeling of being close to people who are innately distant; who shower you with choicest and most meaningful tokens of appreciation, but always stay 2 steps away otherwise?
[afterthought, the morning after... chill it frikatwad! Human nature is beautiful in its variety... Good is better than bad. So shut it!]

Or is it the fact that, nullifying the point above, i have begun to see the remainder of mankind as little more than a sum of disparate transient phenomena, all coming into and going out of our black box existences, FOR a reason? Blood being thicker than water, is true, but may be more a result of social bondages, than anything more fundamental. Like with wolves, perhaps it isn't too impossible for a day to come when we get kicked out of our abodes at the slightest sign of independence. Of course, human infants being as incompetent at survival as they are, this means a good 5-8 years of mutuality in existence. And blessed as we are with the gifts of "think-ability", "something as insipid as love", among others, it is only natural for the two parties involved to form bonds that go beyond existential dependence.
Perhaps this is similar to the concept of maya, wherein the world is an illusion, created for reasons currently incomprehensible (for me at least), from which we are to break free to attain oneness with the One.
In such a situation, it would be only foolish to expect anything from others. However, expectations form the core of all human relations. To inaccurately quote an old friend, 'though expectations form the root of all pain, without them it would be impossible to have tangible relationships'.
Such a case is when i am redirected towards Him. The answer to all problems seems to be the path to Him, but as is the case with all things worth doing, it is a Herculean task to even try to walk on that path.

Ok, wait. Another possibility comes flying in.
The fact that my general gloom arises from the fact that my days at my beloved NSIT are dearly numbered.
Was it this which compelled me to be more reflective at the Jam, rather than hyperactive. To a great extent, I would attribute that to my intrinsic fascination for all things audio-visual. Thus while the crowds may have moved to the beats of a chartbuster, I found it more stimulating to zombie pose in front of the big speakers, as always. And the more I think of that glorious coming together of the tones, the beats, those delightfully naughty elongations; of the magic and brilliance engrained in unique permutations of the aforementioned elements, the more I feel justified in choosing such physically inanimate companions.
Tho i AM convinced on the fact that maya must have a purpose; and that the aforementioned all too form a part of maya only, Thus all parties involved and not so, remain in my convenient domain of "appreciated and respected".

Oh and by the way, just thinking of a seminar of "Cryptography and mankind" (or some such), is fascinating. That, along with Glomosim needs to be looked at long and hard.

And my net's died on me again. I'm sleepy after days of sleep deficiency.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is nice.

We shall lead a million lives, and none lesser than the other.
I'll see you later. For now I embark on life no. 1342!

Gumorning!